Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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