Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops