How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

"Knock knock" Come in!

why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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