What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Nathan likes butt games with African American men

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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