Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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A bar walks into a man

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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