Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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