Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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