what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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