What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

What is white and square? A ping pong block

No!

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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