Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bitch! Love, J.B.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Justin beiber's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops