what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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A paralysed man falls over.

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justin beiber sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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