I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +17

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Terraria

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ok

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops