A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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