What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops