Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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