Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops