Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the dog say to the house? Roof

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats circular and black? a black circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hey hey apple

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops