How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops