So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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What should you do if you are being chased by a black man. keep running and if he tag's you, then you should try tag him back since this is a simple game of tag.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops