Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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A storm be brewin!

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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the midget went to the midget store

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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