Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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minorities.....

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Poker face

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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