what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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What is cowboy say

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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