Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Netflix and chill

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robin, get in the car.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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knock knock There's no door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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