How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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a man makes a bad joke

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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