What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

boobs!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops