How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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I <3 Hitler

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What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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