What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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