Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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