What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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What is the Modern Day slave trade? The nba

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops