roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Sex education in Texas.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops