-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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GONNA

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oh hai

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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