A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

42

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Darude- Sandstorm

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Continents are large islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops