on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

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Women's rights

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops