Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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