How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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