Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -2

meh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops