Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops