what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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Logan's gay

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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