who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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