OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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WHAT????

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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