Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*insert joke here*

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Italian leaves the mofia

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops