Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops