why did the guy die? because he got hit by a train. lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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