Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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kill yourself

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops