whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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I just found out i have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops