so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

What do you call a fat priest? Obese

Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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