whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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