Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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