What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

thumb_up thumb_down -20

tims sty:)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Apple juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

thumb_up thumb_down -22

We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

thumb_up thumb_down -22

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

this site is an antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops