Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Mitt Romney

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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