A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops